The Marshmallow Rule

Since the fall began, I feel like I have been visited by the ghost of holidays past.  Reaching into the memory vault pullling out this and that holiday to revisit like photographs from an old dusty album.  I found myself sifting through the memories looking to see which holiday was a favored remembrance and what made it so.  The people?  The food?  The presents?  Watching how time had changed my perceptions of what was needed to make the day one to be later savored.  I must tell you that the last 2 holidays of year's end are my favorites, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  New Year's Eve isn't included since to me it is tied so closely to the beginning of the New Year.  Perhaps I've pondered so deeply because this year would be so different for the DH and me.  For once, it has been just us.  After having gotten though Thanksgiving, I can definitely state cooking all the "must haves" takes just as much time for two as it does for 15-20.

So what does the "Marshmallow Rule" have to do with the holidays?  I hadn't thought of the old battered sign for quite some time.  It bubbled up in my memory after watching the news.  Prodded to the surface by the story of a customer who pepper sprayed others while shopping for the deals of the season.  That night I was trying to figure out what could possibly be so important to purchase for Christmas that hurting others was necessary to get it.  If I thought that was bad, I saw a much worse story later.  I'm not sure where this was but a woman left her little kids in the car to go shopping.  Trying to grab some of those "big deals" it would seem.  The youngest child was one, I believe.  It was dark and the kids were cold and scared.  A gentleman that was interviewed about the incident put it very well, "Ain't nothing in that store worth your kids!"  No kidding!  Probably both ladies needed to read this old rule before the season began.

When did such frenzied consumption of produced products become the norm, necessitating camping out no matter the weather to secure a place in line to purchase those sought after possessions?  Toys of all kinds and TV's seemed to be front-runners of the giant sales this year that started when I was going to bed and continuing when I certainly wasn't gettting out of bed.  This "I MUST & WILL have THAT for me or my child" attitude isn't really a recent trend.  I recall seeing mothers mob the stores for those little kids from the patch roughly 25 years ago.  Yikes!  Has it been that long since they came out?

Don't get me wrong,  I like presents.  I like shopping for them.  I like wrapping them.  I like giving them and I like receiving them.  I like everything from fun and thoughtful to eatable and drinkable to useful and practical gifts.  I also understand the fundamental drive of economics.  A consumer purchasing products gives a manufacturer an outlet for their goods.  Sometimes a supplier is needed in the process allowing access to those goods.  So both supplier and manufacturer are creating jobs for people.  This does keep the whole cycle going.  Some get more, some get less but if the cycle is broken, no one wins.  And yes, my DH has gone out in the wee morning hours on Black Friday to purchase and item, not as a present but a necessity at that time.  Eight years ago, I needed a TV.  Not wanted, needed one to play the home schooling DVDs on.

Yep, I started home schooling my then grade-schooler during the holiday season.  Not something for the faint of heart to be sure but I felt it was the best thing to do.  During one particular session, the "Marshmallow Rule" came into being.  Granted I was trying to combine homework from several classes with it.  I was also trying to give a small Life lesson at the same time.  Multitasking at its best!  And yes, I did finally notice the spelling error.  Kindly ignore it.

First, I'd like to share some bits and pieces of our holiday cheer.  The early years in this house didn't allow for extravagant spending much less lavish decorations or food.  In fact, our first tree was quite the "Charlie Brown" type, put too much on and over it would fall.  It's good for one string of lights, some candy canes and tinsel.  Feeling nostalgic, I chose to put it up again.

It isn't so bad looking and it was even made in the USA.  Pippin's been delighting in knocking off the canes.  I believe it is payback for the next photo.  See that little figurine with him?  My Mom gave what she called white elephant presents for Christmas the year my dad died.  She said she wanted us to remember what was important about this time of year.  That was my gift from the thrift store 18 years ago.  She also had oranges and hard candy for table decorations.  She said when she was a girl to get either or both were a big deal for Christmas.

Long before it dwindled to just us two, it had been my turn to host the mandatory family fun Christmas get together.  I say mandatory because getting this branch together was like pulling hen's teeth.  Either some had way too many commitments for the same day yet felt compelled to show for lunch then leave the table still chewing or some acted like they really didn't care to get together.  I began suspecting the latter when it took 2 and 1/2 hours of serious debate to attempt to forestall any more complaints about who should host the next gathering and exactly when.  Anyway, a relative quite admired my wreaths and asked how I'd managed the creations.  I think she wanted to know how much I'd spent on them.  She didn't quite believe me when I said, "with weeds."  Yep, on a budget weeds can be turned into something quite pretty.  Sometimes, you just have to see the beauty in the smallest and oddest of things and figure out how to make them useful.

That particular ability of mine is probably how I managed to think the "Marshmallow Rule" up in the first place but as you read it you might see why I've been thinking about it these last few weeks.  The hustling bustle of the holiday season sometimes overshadows the simply important things in life.

         ( Not all things in Life must be expensive or complicated.  Sometimes the simplest things, such as a roasted marshmallow, can delight the senses and brighten a cloudy day. )  The lesson, to teach a little boy penmanship, how to write about something he knew and that sometimes something as simple as a roasted marshmallow can put a smile on your face.    

Health.  Food. Safe warm homes.  Family.  And if you don't have family, very good friends.  An income so you can provide some of those things.  Compared to the latest toy or gadget those things are pretty important to me.  As for gifts here this year, they're going to be on the simple side.  Then again, who can resist the perfect cup of cocoa with homemade marshmallows and a toasted s'more?

And that is my simple gift to all of you since you can't drop in and share them here .
http://allrecipes.com/personalrecipe/63012863/cats-chocolate-wine-marshmallows/detail.aspx
http://allrecipes.com/personalrecipe/63012513/cats-kicked-up-cocoa/detail.aspx
My favorite recipes for hot chocolate and homemade marshmallows.

Also the wish that each and everyone of you have very Merry Christmas and a safe Happy New Year!

Final Farewell

                                        All things bright and beautiful,
                                 All creatures great and small,
                               All things wise and wonderful,
                                 The Lord God made them all. 
                                                                                         Cecil Frances Alexander

Today an old acquaintance, Josie, died.  I say acquaintance because she preferred the company of dogs and people over the rest of us in MC's pride.  She was a tiny little cat with a loving heart despite what her former owners.  She carried physical and emotional hurts that never quite healed.  But that didn't keep her from her self appointed job.  Despite being unable to sit on a lap too long because of former fears, she purringly greeted all guests, human and canine.  She gladly accepted the stroke of a kind hand.  Happily following any nice guest that arrived at our house.

Jo had another job to fill when she first came.  It was hoped that her care which fell to MC's human child would inspire him and his grades.  Deep down I believe MC knows that really wasn't the truth, she really wanted to give Jo a better home.  Another Joe took the actual job.  He has done it quite well and will soon be coming home to us to stay.

Josie leaves behind a daughter and son.  Both of them are lucky to have grown up in this house never knowing the harsher side of the world.  That's probably why they are both so silly.  That's Rogue stuck on the roof again.  Waiting for MC and the ladder to get her down.  I swear she has nothing but fur between those ears.

My buddy, Gloves, is her son.  Don't tell him he is stealthy like an elephant.  He really does think he is hiding.

Despite being tiny and frail, old Jo had quite the zealous spirit.  She even tried to welcome that baying beast the rest of us just hate.  She brought him socks and tried to teach him to fit in.  The poor dear finally just had to give up.  Her best efforts couldn't turn that mutt into anything like her old canine friend, Spot.  See, that is her on the left trying to be friendly.

Spot and Jo shared quite a bit.  Both started life rough before they came to live here.  And they were both lucky to pick MC to own for themselves.  You'd see them sharing a snooze or ablutions together.  Never once did Jo get mad that Spot made her fur stand on end from a shared bath.  When Spot passed away last year, Jo sorely missed her.  Today Josie will share a final resting place with her old friend.  Out in MC's garden by a lovely red rose to remember them both by.

                Goodbye Josie, the little cat with a big heart.  You will be missed.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!

This is a rant! A loud freaking one!  Something I normally save for emails or phone calls.  But this is a special occasion and it deserves a blog.  Because I want a divorce and I am getting one in no uncertain terms.  That's right I'm divorcing all of the DH's WORTHLESS family.  As of today they no longer are going to be allowed to "F" with my life.  I will no longer bite my tongue or hold my opinions to myself.

Why?  You might ask after years of dealing with them have I finally had enough!  First a little back story so you can see where I'm coming from.

The DH and I had been married for a while.  Not once did I hear from his sister or brother.  The brother is a worthless thief and crackhead so I really did expect anything from him.  In fact, he stole from his brother the day we got married.  Then boom we moved into an unfinished house, my dad died unexpectedly and I discovered I was pregnant.   So who starts calling me once a month?  That's right the SIL.  That would be the one that married money at 19 and who has never really worked a job.  Someone else has always paid her bills, provided her with nice cars and really nice houses.  I'm talking 5 bedroom, 6 car garage, multi-level house with pool and room for a pony nice.  I'm saying MC Mansion.  That was when she lived here now she is in FL with nice house and yacht.  Thank God cause that lessens my chances of running into her and over her with my car.

I'm going to list a few of the more memorably unpleasant times this witch has caused in my life:

   During one of her monthly pregnancy checkup calls to me, I asked if she knew if my dad had died. Answer "yep".  Nothing else, no "sorry" or anything.

  I sent what I thought was a cute picture of my son standing in his gardening clothes with 2 huge carrots he had just pulled out of his garden.  SIL calls-"That is the worst picture I have ever seen.  How ugly, he looks terrible and those clothes.  Oh my......."  I cried after I got off the phone.

  Searched forever one Christmas to find THE hot toy of the season.  Found it and was SO excited that I could give it to my son.  SIL shows up a few days before Christmas with the identical toy.  I mentioned to her quietly she might have asked if I'd gotten him that.  Reply "Oh well"  The gift from me was the major part of my Christmas to my son.

   The worthless supposedly reformed brother showed up one Christmas and stayed at the SIL.  She called to invite us for a lunch.  She told me what to bring.  We get there and she has ordered pizzas.  Her reasoning "I didn't want to have to cook and we are eating in the breakfast room cause the rest of the house is cleaned for Christmas with my family(meaning her husbands)"  I kid you not, her words.  And I might add the bitch sat on one of the 4 chairs in that room, her formal dining room being clean and all, while 12 people had a choice of the floor or fighting over the remaining chairs.   I sat my son on the counter and perched there too and didn't bother to open my food containers.

  Fast forward to this one in '07.  My Mom died.  The bitch calls, OH NO not with condolences, to tell her brother she broke her leg.  Her brother tells her about my Mom.  She calls back a few days later.  With condolences?  Are you kidding?!  She's calling to make sure she had called to let us know her leg was broken.  That was the LAST time I EVER intended to talk to her.

After that her worthless brother floated back in and out of my DH's life.  Poor guy, he is the oldest and after his dad committed suicide it fell upon him to help with the care of his siblings so I guess he felt responsible for them.  Not that they seemed to care about that.  In fact, one of the last times the DH saw his brother he stole money again from him.  And then a year or so later left a message on our machine with his phone #.  What did he need?  Money to pay his property taxes.  SERIOUSLY?!!

For those of you that were here for the Nov roundup, you know that at midnight before the big day I got a phone call.  From whom?  The worthless pot smoking trailer trash skank that the worthless brother had married.  She proceeded to curse me out while telling me the BIL had suffered major trauma from a motorcycle accident. GOD BLESS Lora for being here and Brenda for helping me that day.  Not only did I have a lot going on but the DH was taking the DS hunting FOR THE LAST time.  Poor Lora manned the phone for me that day and despite all it was a WONDERFUL day.

If anyone is curious what became of my BIL after that, well, so was my sister.  So she asked because I had already told her I was done with this man and didn't care really what happened to him  He'd made his bed years ago.  We were surprised he was even out on the motorcycle because he had been arrested for spousal abuse and drugs prior. I knew my husband had talked to his sister afterward.  Emphasis on had.  All of his worthless brother's friends had called him too.  Did he know if his brother was dead or alive.  NOPE!  Once everyone was done bothering him they stopped calling.

UNTIL THE OTHER DAY!  The last few remaining hours I have to spend with my son before the US Navy took possession of  him and who F'ng calls. That right!  I answer the phone cause it might be the DH he got temporary work and wasn't sure he could get home to take our son to the recruiter.  Here is the conversation.  "Hello"  / Hello, this is J.  How are you?/  "OK"  Inside I'm screaming  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?  /I need to get worthless brother's phone #.  I lost my phone and all the contact info/  "Uh, let me look in our phonebook.  Nope I don't have it"  /Well, have DH call me\  "OK but I don't think he has talked to anyone since last year.  I don't know that he knows anything" /Oh, I went to see the brother this summer/  "Well, OK I tell my husband you called.  bye"

I'm  standing there with the phone in my hand thinking of lots of nasty things to say but what's the point?  My kid is leaving and I do not care about these people.  The phone rings again.  I look at my son and say,"I'm letting the answering machine pick up"  He says "who cares" 

GUESS WHO?!!!!!!!  "This is J again.  You were really short with me just now and I don't know why.  We have never had cross words and as you well know I have so little family....................."

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!  I'm trying to delete the message or just make the bitch stop talking cause if I don't I"M GOING TO BREAK THE PHONE.  My dear child says,"You got to wait till the dip shit stops talking to delete."  I walked away and when there was no more sound coming from the machine I hit delete and then unplugged the phone.

Later after delivering my only child to the Navy I forgot to plug the phone in.  So I'm sitting there seriously depleting the Kleenex supply and think what is that noise.  Shit!!!  It's the phone.  Frantically, I tried  to plug the phone.  Yes, I missed my son's first and only call home for weeks because of 2 utterly worthless people.  Ones that have not called and do not call unless they want something.

No, I'm not doing well.  I miss my child like I never thought I would.  Got his first paragraph home and what is in the first sentence?  "Thanks for answering the damn phone guys!" 

Is there such a thing as homicidal depression?  I think I might have it and it is a damn good thing neither of those worthless self centered self serving people live anywhere near me.  God help them if they drop by.  I've got a big silver dog who doesn't like Mom upset :)(:

Eureka! I've found the "Whatever" aisle!

I did it!  I've finally found that ever elusive grocery aisle(s).  Some of you may remember last year I posted a blog about wanting to find this particular aisle because of my two guys.  Frankly, I was getting tired of being told to fix "whatever" or get "whatever" when it was time to do the weekly grocery shopping.  I seriously wanted to find this hidden passageway where "whatever" lurked and I'll get to how I did it in a bit.  First, I'd like to thank, again, all those that stopped by last year's blog.  It was so nice to see I wasn't alone in dealing with picky eaters who thought "whatever" just magically appears to eat.  As you can see from my scribbled note that I've kept, I got some great food suggestions from posters.

I got a terrific calzone recipe for the DS; my biggest get "whatever" problem eater.  Plus, awesome advice on how to fix my sauce problem.  Since the kid eats so few vegetables, I asked for ideas on serving green beans.  I got several and 2 of them were deemed excellent by the kid and are still frequently served here.

Bolstered by the support I was receiving, I decided to get the teen involved in fixing some of his dinners last year.  He learned cooking takes some effort while preparing a chicken breast for grilling.

I gave him the opportunity to pick green beans to go with that chicken and use one of those great recipe suggestions.

He even tried his hand at creating his own recipes.  One of his personal favorites is hot wings so he decided to BBQ them with a side of seasoned steak fries.

I thought he was getting pretty inventive with the breaded proscuitto wrapped zucchini.  Plus, they really were good.

Now back to finding that veiled victual aisle.  Granted certain conditions presented themselves this summer so I can't really guarantee absolute success for anyone else but I still felt I should share what I found.  After all, those of us that didn't take the proper measures early on to keep our families from asking for "whatever" or giving those annoying half hearted shoulder shrugs when asked for dinner ideas need to stick together!  And I still highly commend those that have limited their family's choices to  "take it or leave it" and "starve or fix it yourself".  Maybe,  just maybe, I should have been more like them.

I probably should mention the three things that I really think made my discovery possible.  The DH got laid off so that left him with ample time on his hands this summer.  The DS worked at a snack bar and learned that not all people do food prep or buy foodstuffs like his mother.  I think, though,the most important thing was early in the summer I announced to both of them that I was going to have  weed free gardens for my roundup ladies to see.  Since the boys were sitting in the A/C most of the time, while I was slaving away in the scorching heat, I was going to give them the opportunity to discover the joys of cooking and grocery shopping.

Before we all piled into the car to go grocery shopping, I gave the DH the grocery ads and told him how much of our greatly reduced budget was available for food.  I gave him all of our on hand items in both pantry and freezer.  I also gave him several days to assimilate all this information.  Didn't want to give him sensory overlaod and short hin out too early in the summer.  The DS, I wasn't too worried about since the young seem to adjust to change more readily than the old.  This time gave them both a chance to watch extra FoodNetwork shows while I was busy weeding.  Frankly, I think the DH wasn't watching Giada for her recipes.  On the other hand, he found some keepers from the Barefoot Contessa and Guy Fieri.  He even got a good fish recipe from Paula Dean that didn't have a pound of butter in it.  The kid wasn't as interested in the cooking shows and slunk off to another TV to watch that survialist dude and Anthony Bourdain.  What he brought to the table to get fixed just goes to show even when they are 18, you still need to monitor their TV watching!

So the big grocery shopping day arrived and I have to say I felt vaguely uneasy taking everyone along.  Then the scene when Harry Potter has to get on the Hogwarts platform for the first time flashed through my mind.  Don't ask me why but at that moment Mrs. Weasley's advice seemed appropriate.  So I grasped the shopping cart's handle firmly, got a bit of a run at the doors and it happened.  Just like magic the family was pulled along in my wake and when we ended up on the other side of the doors it was as if a whole new world had opened up.  The "whatever" that everyone wanted was readily available, easily found and then purchased.  I'm telling you it was amazing.  I'd like to say the meals that came from my guys cooking adventures were all as spectacular as finding the "whatever" aisle(s) but I can't.  I'll give the DH credit, at least he tried while I was on hiatus from the kitchen.  It's amazing how fast the kitchen reins were thrust back into my hands once the roundup was over,though.  Now, the kid's attempt was another story and I know some of you might be curious as to how that all turned out.  So I will conclude with that incident and a link to Pippin's latest blog.
http://thesensiblyorganiccook.blogspot.com/2011/09/would-you-try-and-put-leash-on-lion.html
Both of these kids have been having fun this summer but Ryan's food "pick" had a wicked Eeeeeewwwww factor to it.  Yes, I was asking for snake recipes on the "buzz" because my kid shot what he thought was a rattler.  The child had been telling me that if he ever shot a rattler he wanted to try cooking it.  That will teach me to not encourage that boy to cook.  I do not like snakes!  In fact, if it hadn't been for Ryan's Grandma Jennie (she's an adopted grandma but who cares, she is still great)I'd still be killing all snakes that came near me.  She educated me about snakes, even got me a book.  I still don't like them. I think it is the sudden surprise factor they have.  Hey, I'm not as bad as my sister, I think she broke out in a cold sweat when I called her to tell her what I was grilling.  By golly, I was not going to waste that 4' long snake because I'd told Ryan if he shot a snake we WERE going to eat it.  Deep sigh! 

So there it was.  Ryan cleaned it and I googled.  YouTube is great!  I found a video of a guy cooking snake.  Evidently lots of people like snake  If it is ever up to me to kill another snake to eat or eat something else,  I'm eating something else!  Actually, once I stopped cringing like a 6 week old kitten that had just discovered a mirror and managed to touch the cleaned snake, it wasn't so bad.  Granted, I might have tossed back some of that whiskey the snake chef recommended to use in the marinade first.  Thank heavens I had some Beam on hand!

I don't think my child thought I would woman up and cook it while he was at work.  Good thing his father was in Springfield cause he wouldn't have tried it period.  I don't think the kid liked it as well as he thought he would.  NO, it does not taste like chicken.  It has a delicate flavor all its own but boy is it boney.  You can eat and pick your teeth at the same time.  Not to worry, I was not about to waste my first attempt at snake so I made these.

Veggie & snake filled egg rolls and snake & goat cheese wontons.  It took a long while to get all the bones out but it was worth it.  Like I said, snake has a definite eeewww factor but once stuffed and deep fried the kid sucked it down almost faster than  it came out of the deep fryer.

That's it for me today.  I hope everyone had a nice day and enjoyed a nice normal meal of "whatever" :)(:

Would you try and put a leash on a lion?

Seriously, would you walk up to a lion, slap a leash on it and say "hey, fatso, let's go for a walk"?  Didn't think so.  Now normally, I got a lot of love for MC but she did just that.  No, she didn't slap a leash on a lion.  She tried slapping a leash on me and taking me for a walk.  Why?  Cause she is worried about my weight.  Oh yeah, that whole "let's take a walk" idea went over big time with me. 

Not!

Oh sure, Doc told her after my surgery when he was taking my stitiches out MC would have to be careful with my diet.  Too much weight would be hard for me to carry around on 3 legs.  Little did I know she'd take that advice as gospel instead of as a mere guideline.

Let me introduce myself.  I'm Pippin and I had an accident that resulted in the loss of my front leg.  Mama Cat or MC for short, is the human I own and right now she is fixated on a diet and exercise regimen for me.  And it all started with her trying to weigh me cause she thought I was lying around too much.

The day of the great weigh in MC drags me into the bathroom and proceeds to plunk my butt down on her scales.  I filed a quick protest by backing off the scales and in between her legs.  I got to say once MC gets something into her head she is determined to see it through to the bitter end.  She got a better grip on my poor skinny (I might add) body, drug me forward and pu me back on the scales.  At least she tried to.  I filed another protest.  We probably would still be in the bathroom going back and forth if a certain someone hadn't gotten in on the action.  On the last push me pull me attempt, MC found she couldn't pull me forward anymore.  Why you might ask?  Cause my lovely long tail which had been behind MC's legs was now stuck in someone's mouth.  Yep, that foul breath fuzz faced beast of MC's had clamped onto my tail and was pulling my ass backwards.  Just look at this hideous face!  How would you like it pulling on your tail, I ask?

Yeah, yeah he got in trouble after MC stopped laughing.  The woman has no heart somedays but she also gave up on trying to weigh me too.

To show her I forgave that lapse in judgement concerning my diet and exercise, I tried to help her with some crafty thing she was doing.  Look!  I almost got those scissors to work.

Can you believe she didn't appreciate my help?  Me neither.  So I thought maybe I should try yoga with her, after all cats invented yoga.  For some reason, she didn't seem to find my pointing out her own paunch problems by sitting on it while she was in reclined mountain pose amusing.  OK, so I didn't think that one through cause that motivated her to go get someone for me to play with.  Back on that exercise thing again.  I had previously cleared off MC's DVD thingy, in order, to better observe her workout sessions so I invited Gloves up for a bit of wrestling just to prove there is nothing wrong with my physique.  Gloves may have all of his limbs but I still won.

I proved I'm fit and was rather hoping this would get MC to relax on the diet thing too.  She feeds me downstairs.  Actually, she doles out pitiful sized portions during the day for me to eat.  For Pete's sake, that woman goes up and down those steps hundreds of times a day.  Which means I have to run up and down the stairs to see when she is putting out my miserably meager meals.  About all my wrestling bout achieved was getting Gloves stuck on a diet too.  Boy, is he a whiner.  Just look at him trying to get in the house so he can power nap safely concealed in the teen's room instead of taking a brisk walk around the yard.  Yep, that's the walking hairball on the table.  I have to perch on stuff just to keep that blasted beast away from my delicate fur so now it thinks it needs to sit on tables, too.  Notice even through the screen it is trying to invade Glove's personal space?  We keep telling her to send the thing back but MC just won't listen.

Remember my cleverly crafted inside tree?

Um, someone forgot to tell me the rope tied around the ladder was not for me to play with.  'Fraid I untied that sucker one day.  That wouldn't have been a problem but that blue-tongued pestilence panting in my face caused me to make a rather spectacular leap onto the tree.  I kind of hit the tree a lttle hard and caused it to all come crashing down.  MC came running to make sure I wasn't hurt and then told me she wasn't in the mood to fix my tree.  Not like she was doing anything important.  Look!

She is sitting there reading a book and drinking coffee while broken bits of my tree are surrounding her.  I tried to get her moving by turning the pages for her.

That didn't work so I thought I'd help her read it.  Still didn't get her moving.  I had to wait till she went to get a refill and take matters into my own paw.

When all else fails take a nap on it!  That got her going and I must say she did a fine job on the rebuild.  Made a nice little shelf for me to sleep on comfortably.  MC is still on this exercise kick though.  Instead of buying me toys to play with, the tightwad bought a feather duster for me.  I got to admit it is kind of fun to play with.

That's about all my news for now.  So everyone take care and remember-

Everything is difficult
until it becomes easy.

The Missouri Midwest Roundup: A Perfect Day!

The planning began the day after last year's roundup.  By the second week of June I had started the steps to have the perfect gifts, perfect flower filled and vegetable garden, perfect party atmsophere and a perfectly pristine house.  There is a definite sort of excitment in having a roundup.  Some might think exciting might not apply when welcoming strangers to your home.  As Lora/ Magnolia Blossom pointed out, you are not really meeting strangers because through All Recipes you do know them.  You chat with them on the "Buzz", read their blogs, use their recipes and with some you are already "e-pals".  You just might not have seen their faces, heard their voices or felt their physical hugs.  You may have gotten those virtual hugs which are great but the real ones are the best.

At this year's roundup the lovely ladies that came were Lora/Magnolia Blossom, Lisa/Mangel, Sheila/Mi Being Mi, Brenda/bhawk, and Nicole/Soup Loving Nicole.  Nicole also brought her husband, James, and Max, the dog.  We also had Janice, a friend of Brenda's, who made Lisa feel right at home.  I convinced my sister she should come too and she brought her husband.  Terrie who was here last year wasn't able to make it but she did breeze thru, drop off goodies and pick up some Almond Grahams aka "Crack" that Lisa was kind enough to make.  It really is an addictive recipe.

Let's start with the "perfect gifts".  Back in November I decided to have the roundup over my birthday weekend so I could ease into the idea being 50.  Geez when I was 18, 50 was pretty close to having one foot in the grave.  What a surprise to find myself at this rather large numbered birthday!  I didn't think it was fair to have the day just be about my birthday so I came up with an idea that I thought would  include everyone's birthday.  As with some of my ideas, the idea is sound but the execution is lacking.  While my guys were boar hunting, I started my presents.  Painted flower pots with herbs.  Simple idea but I went a few steps farther.  I used the zodiac to get the birthday girl's herb and color associated with the their month.  I also ran across sayings that went with their month so I figured I'd stencil their names, birthdays and sayings on the pots.  I thought the sayings were really neat because they seemed to fit.  Lora's- "I Dream, I Believe".  Brenda's- "I Feel".  Lisa's- "I Have".  Sheila's- "I Think".  Nicole's- "I Will".  That one is mine too and really seemed to fit because that's what I kept saying to myself while trying to get everything done for this year's roundup.

So what went wrong? To get the right colors I used the wrong paint on some and ended up redoing them because they ended up bubbling and looking warty.  Then since I tried to pick from the herbs listed ones the ladies would like, I started from seed.  Should have been a simple thing but all the pots got infested so I replanted 5 times.  Deep sigh!  Even then I had to change herbs and dig some out of my garden.  What should have been big bushy wonderfully filled pots of herbs as you can see weren't.  The ladies seemed to think it was a neat idea though.  Not everything is pictured here but the gifts the ladies brought were perfect and very much appreciated!

Also, All Recipes Elizabeth surprised us with bags filled with goodies.  From last year Lady Sparkle and What's for dinner, Mom?'s number 1 daughter had generously made enough gifts so I was able to give a washcloth and apron to Lisa and Nicole, our new attendees.  With one apron left that went to my sister in her favorite print.  So how perfect was that?!

Now the perfect flower filled and vegetable garden, yeah right.  Only in my dreams.  For what seemed like forever I weeded.  Those of you that I regularly chat with may have noticed a marked decrease in emails from me.  Don't think I forgot about you.  Thinking of each of you, wondering how you were and what was going on with you gave me something to think about besides the scorching heat, bee stings and all day weed annhilation.

Even poor Bane got fed up with me working everyday in the gardens.  That's my gardening glove in his mouth. 

For the perfect party atmosphere I thought a signature drink was needed.  One created just for us birthday girls and using fruits from Missouri.  Have I ever done this before?  Nope.  Certainly didn't stop me from trying though.  Let's just say it looks better than it tasted.  Again deep sigh!

The perfectly pristine house we are not even going to talk about.  Dear sweet Lora came in on Friday night and I listed what was again left to do.  She was all for getting up at 6:00am and helping and she did.  She even baked these delightful muffins for us to have for breakfast.  Did I mention I left to go to dog obedience class that morning for an hour?  Yep, I'm trying to be a responsible owner and get proper training for Bane and I.  We have a wonderful trainer but one of the classes was scheduled the day of the roundup.  Again deep sigh!

BBQ Dude was at his best this year.  Although, I believe he miss timed getting some stuff on the smoker because he was busy talking with Nicole's husband.  And perhaps an adult beverage or two.

It didn't matter.  When you invite cooks to your home you are going to get some wonderful food.  Not to mention a wonderful fleet of cooks willing to help on last minute food prep.  They are even willing to risk getting yelled at by the head cook who probably should have had an adult beverage by then instead of worrying about perfection.  Right, Brenda?

Just look at this deliciously ladden table.  All the leftovers from the feast prompted my teen to say this the next day.  "I have a different question for you tonight, Mom.  What don't we have to eat?"

We were a decidedly lively bunch this year.  One of us started fairly early with the adult beverages which then encouraged some of the others to join in.   Lisa brought chocolate wine.  Lora made the sangria that she had at Maui girl's roundup.  Pretty soon the conversation was flowing and we were all acting like we had known each other forever.  And yes, the party lasted well into the night.  We talked about everything from food, pets and topics that, well, might be censorable.  We decided what happens in the garden stays in the garden.  Just like Vegas :)(:

I got 2 lovely and very thoughtful surprises yesterday.  One of them had me squealing like a kid who had a pony arrive at her birthday party.  I hope I didn't damage her hearing. 

Just as all of us ladies were proceeding on a garden tour, my son came to the door with the phone and said, "There's a woman on the phone for you and she won't say who she is."  Ok, so by this time I'd had some adult beverages too so I was really puzzled because everyone was here.  I answered the phone and the lady asked how the party was going and who all was there and then she said, "Do you know who this is?"  Well, no.  "It's Laurie."  That's when the squealing started.  Last year she had sent me the sweetest cross stitched birthday card.  This year has been so rough for them and so many others in New Zealand that I didn't expect anything from her.  To say it was delightful to have her call me from tomorrow and finally hear her voice is an understatement.  Some day I will see her in person.  Then we got another call.  This time from Maui girl.  Too cool!!!!

The next morning the ladies that were left sat in the garden talking and blowing bubbles.  We were supposed to do that the day before but we were too busy.  The window in this picture came from an old house and has 2 poems on it that I really like.  sueb gave me the idea for the starry windchime and I just had to have a picture of the bubbles floating past.

We discussed having the roundup at Brenda's next year so we could see her garden but she says she likes coming here.  She also thinks Sheila will be likely to spend the night too at next year's roundup.  Yep, the camper is that big.

So for all my imperfect plans what made the day so perfect?  The people, of course.  Those that came, called or were here in spirit.

I sincerely thank each and every one of you for my perfect day!

Are you game for a boar of a tale?

As some of you know, my guys plus one went on an out of state hunting trip last month.   I was excited to have the weekend to myself so I was talking about them being gone.   When I told you what they were going to hunt some expressed curiosity about it so I thought I’d share the results of that trip.  For those that have asked about Pippin, he has posted another blog if you’d like to drop in and check out his adventures-http://thesensiblyorganiccook.blogspot.com/2011/07/can-tiger-change-his-stripes.html  Also if anyone's plans have changed and they are interested in the upcoming roundup I'm having here, http://allrecipes.com/cook/13436831/blogentry.aspx?postid=233279 that's the blog if you'd like to read it and the email address is in it if you are interested.

My DH, Jeff, and his BF, Al, have talked about going elk hunting in Colorado for years.   They both have hunted deer for years but wanted to go after something bigger.   Either their jobs, lack of time or money kept them from doing anymore than talking about a big out of state game hunt.   Then early last year my DH started researching the possibilities again.   Plus, he thought it would be cool for his son to be able to go with them now that he was old enough.   So each Sunday he’d share what he had found with Al.   See, depending on the season Al comes up every Sunday to watch either the football game or NASCAR.   I fix a big lunch for them too cause Al always seems to help the DH with one project or another.   Usually it is a major project like cutting wood for the winter so I feel it is only fair I keep Al well fed.

After much consideration they decided to turn their sights on smaller game. Wild pig. Oklahoma is also a little closer to home than Colorado.   Since I did not opt to go with the guys on their trip, I’m relying on their version of events and pictures they took for most of my information.   I can, however, reliably share what I’ve learned about cooking wild pig.

If you do any scanning of the TV listings you might have noticed “reality” shows about the damage wild pigs are doing in various states, what is being done to round up these destructive creatures and what happens to them after capture.   The ranch the guys hunted on buy captured wild pigs from Texas.   When asked, the people at the ranch said those reality shows are a bunch of nonsense and the pigs are live trapped then shipped to places like theirs.

Here’s the first picture the guys were excited about showing me.

Goes to show what they were interested in.   Yep, I’m afraid my requests for scenery pictures fell upon deaf ears and, yes, that is the family truck for the owners of the ranch.   When the guys told me how cool the place was inside and I asked if they took a photo of it, I got a blank look.   Deep sigh.   So the best I could do with that is include the website just in case anyone wanted to see other shots. http://www.reddirtboarranch.com/

I really did not know how the hunt was to be conducted but I was told everyone was guaranteed a pig. I know my guys when they hunt deer here in Missouri sit out on frosty mornings in carefully constructed and concealed deer stands for hours.   Usually only to come home wanting a hearty brunch with a “Nope, didn’t see a thing”.   It never fails to amaze me how thundering herds of deer can simply vanish when it is hunting season.   Same with those turkeys. I  can hear them gobble around here every morning till opening day.   I’ve even scared them out of the front yard but I have yet to cook a wild one.

Evidently it is no surprise where the wild pigs are.   The ranch is well fenced since it is against the law to let any of these creatures back into the wild.   This is also a working ranch so the wild pigs are fed and receive veterinary care to keep any diseases from infecting the domestic livestock.

These shots are taking from the stands the guys were in.   For those that feel this type of hunting isn’t sporting enough, I’m not sure if the guys knew how little hunting skill they would need to get their pig.   As with any game they have harvested over the years we do eat it.   That’s one of our rules.   You only shoot another creature if you intend to eat it or to keep it from killing you.   However, I do think living out in the wild receiving food and care is better than being in an overcrowded feed lot. Also if it were up to me to shoot meat for our table, I can guarantee our menu would be vegetable heavy with some fish every so often.

WARNING!!! Hunting pictures.

The next pictures are my two guys with their pigs. Jeff got a boar and Ryan got a sow.   Al got one of each but somehow I didn't get pictures of his or him.

Now on to what I learned first hand about wild pig.   After going to a meat locker that would process the meat we ended up with this size cooler full.   In it we had ground pork, 2 smoked hams, spare ribs and boneless pork chops.

Before the meat went to St. Joe, I took a bit of it just to see what it would taste like.   I fried it in a skillet.   The flavor is much stronger than domestic pork. Since I did nothing else to the meat it was tough.   I generally like any game and have never had a problem with a gamey flavor.   My sister SWEARS she can tell venison jerky from beef because of the gamey flavor.   Hmmm, wonder if that’s like the great beet and cilantro debate?   Either you like it or you don’t!

I was rather concerned that all the meat except for the ground would be much tougher than my DH was used to.   I believe I was right.   When the pork came back, I decided to try tenderizing and marinating some chops for the grill.   Again we both liked the flavor, not quite shoe leather was the consistency.   Now, Al did the same thing and left his overnight and claimed a successful grilling came out of it.   After having fixed lunch for him for almost 20 years, I know Al is not near as picky as my DH either. So my next attempt at the chops was the pressure cooker.   I love that thing now that I am no longer afraid of it!   I put my own dry rub on the chops, browned them in the PC and added ½ c water and 1 c white wine.   Cooked for 40 minutes under 10 lbs of pressure.   Much better
with an excellent flavor.   I do think I could have gone even longer  with the cooking time and if anyone reading this has more experience with the PC and game, please share your knowledge.   I’m guessing the other cuts will have the same type of toughness.   Something my DH doesn’t understand at all. He figures one pig, domestic vs. wild should be like the other.   Uh huh.   I’m guessing a crock pot or a LONG slow cook on the hams.   I’m not quite sure the best method for the ribs.   Something long and slow I’m sure.

I did have great success with the ground pork.   We grilled hamburgers over the 4^th and we all liked them.   The jerky was AWESOME!   The spice mix pictured earlier on the right was just so so.   I added more spices to it because it seemed rather bland.   The one from Cabela’s was purchased later so we can make more jerky.   I guess!   I barely had enough jerky hidden to take the photo.   The jerky on the right was made with the “Hi Mountain”.   Now if you are wondering why there is asparagus on the plate, they guys brought that back from the ranch.   Someone had left it down after their hunt and the owners told the guys they could have it.   Given they can barely eat anything green, my DH said, “I bet my wife would like that is it all right if I take it for her?”   It’s pickled with some kind of hot pepper.   Can anyone identify it?   I don’t grow that type and am not sure.   I’d also like to have a pickled asparagus recipe too.   Man that stuff is good! Almost too hot for me.   I’d go with jalapeno peppers I think.   Now for the jerky on the left, I used a mix that I had from previous years but I decided to add some of the spicy vinegar from the asparagus to it.   YUM!   That came out so good!

Overall per pound, I’m sure the wild pig cost quite a bit.   I’m not even going to bother trying to figure that out because the guys had such a good time and really liked the ranch.   One other old friend was supposed to go on this trip but couldn’t due to his health.   What a shame.   Ryan is going into the Navy in Oct. so who knows when or if he will ever hunt with his father or Al again.   I swear everyone needs a friend like Al.   He is like a brother to Jeff so I’m glad they finally got to go on their hunting trip out of state.   Jeff is still laid off so it is a good thing he had put aside money to go.   It was a trip that was well worth taking.   Maybe not so much for the pig but for the three of them to have a weekend to remember for always.